I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
