OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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