Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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