she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
