you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
