omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i came on her dog
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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