Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
