I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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