It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
