Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
