Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
