Do you still have your period?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
