I smell stomach acid.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
