Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
