College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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