lets start a swedish sibling band together
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
