So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
