I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
