I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
