That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
