I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
