ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
