he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
