I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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