I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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