Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
