so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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