we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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