Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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