hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
