I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
