apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
