she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
