Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
