they need to just BURY HIM!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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