Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
