Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
