Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
