Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
