you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
