Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
