i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
