went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
