I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
