3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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