Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
