awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
