oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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