my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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