Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
