Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
