Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
