i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
